Once a friend of Mommy's came to visit. His name was Steve, and he and Mommy were writing a book together.
Mommy decided that Steve would sleep in one of our guestrooms. However, that particular room had a nearby bathroom that had not been used in a long time, and the toilet was discolored. Mommy asked a friend who knows a lot about taking care of houses what she should do. The friend told her that Clorox would turn the toilet white again. Mommy was very happy. She bought a jug of Clorox.
When Steve arrived, he wanted to use the bathroom. Mommy proudly showed him the sparkling clean bathroom.
Then we heard two loud sounds, one right after the other. Slam! Slam! The first slam was the bathroom door, and the second slam was the door to the outdoors. Steve streaked past us screaming. His words started out loud, then in a Doppler effect, got quieter as he dashed past us, down the stairs, and into the streets, "It's a **!!$%!* gas chamber in there!"
Mommy's friend had not told Mommy to use only a little bit of Clorox, so she used the entire two-gallon jug. Poor Mommy!
Mommy forgot to flush the Clorox away before Steve came, so when he flushed the toilet after using it, the whole room filled with Clorox bubbles, just like in a real gas chamber. Poor Steve!
After that, Steve started calling Mommy "Little Miss Homemaker." It sounded like a compliment, but I do not think that Steve meant it that way.
Conclusions: I guess that means Mommy will not be selected as Homemaker of the Year this year. Poor Mommy!
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This story is excerpted from a collection of vignettes that I helped Doah, my severely mentally challenged youngest son, to write and publish several years ago (copyright 2003). It was my attempt to help him understand literacy and the purpose of writing and reading.
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About Me
- Elizabeth Mahlou
- I am the mother of 4 birth children (plus 3 others who lived with us) and grandmother of 2, all of them exceptional children. Married for 42 years, I grew up in Maine, live in California, and work in many places in education, linguistics, and program management. In my spare time, I rescue and tame feral cats and have the scars to prove it. A long-time ignorantly blissful atheist converted by a theophanic experience to Catholicism, I am now a joyful catechist. Oh, I also authored a dozen books, two under my pen name of Mahlou (Blest Atheist and A Believer-in-Waiting's First Encounters with God).
Recommended Reading List
Because I am blog inept, I don't quite know how to get a reading list to stay at the end of the page and not disappear from sight. Therefore, I entered it as my first post. I suppose that is not all that bad because readers started commenting about the books, even suggesting additional readings. So, you can participate with others in my reading list by clicking here.I do post additional books as I read them and find them to be meaningful to me, and therefore, hopefully, meaningful to you. One advantage of all the plane traveling I do is that I acquire reading time that I might not otherwise take.
Okay I am laughing quietly as I can relate to this.
ReplyDeleteThank goodness no one added Comet cleanser to the mix, it would have exploded!!
Really?? I did not know that! It's good that people keep out of the way of housekeeping and cooking!
ReplyDeleteSnicker! Doah's got you pegged, Elizabeth :) But it's ammonia that causes problems with bleach, Comet actually contains bleach. I figured I better warn you 'cause we need you around for awhile :)
ReplyDeleteOh, well, I think I will avoid the whole matter and letter Donnie handle anything that avoids chemicals. He's the scientist in the family.
ReplyDeleteI chuckled as I read this. Sounds like something that would happen to me.
ReplyDeleteGlad I am not the only one!
ReplyDelete