Shopping Catastrophe

Mommy does not like to shop, but she does go shopping sometimes. It is probably good that she does not go shopping too often. The times that she does are interesting. If it were more frequently, it might be irritating—or worse. Let me give you an example.
Once my Mommy and her friend, Zina, went grocery shopping. At that time, Zina and her daughter, Ksenya, were living with us.

Zina is like my Mommy in many ways. Like my Mommy, she does not see details. In the case of food, people like Zina and Mommy do not see apples and oranges, they see fruit.

Anyway, Mommy and Zina came home from the store with a lot of food, but it was not the kind of food we usually eat. In fact, I did not even know what some of the food was.

My sister was quite surprised at the food she saw on the kitchen counter, so she asked my Mommy what the food was and why she had bought it.

Mommy answered, "Aunt Zina put it in the basket, so I bought it. Frankly, I have no idea what it is. I just figured she wanted it."

So, Ksenya asked Zina what the food was and why she had bought it. She got a surprising answer.

Zina said, "Aunt Beth put it in the basket, so I said nothing. Frankly, I have no idea what it is. I just figured she wanted it.

My sister and Ksenya then confronted their mothers with their near identical answers. It turns out that neither had put the food in question into the basket. In fact, neither remembered taking a basket at the door. So, obviously, they had waltzed off with someone else's grocery cart and bought someone else's food.

Conclusion: Do not send someone who does not see the difference between apples and oranges to the store.


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This story is excerpted from a collection of vignettes that I helped Doah, my severely mentally challenged youngest son, to write and publish several years ago (copyright 2003). It was my attempt to help him understand literacy and the purpose of writing and reading. The book was featured, one of thousands of other books of course, at the National Book Exhibit in Los Angeles that year, and Doah proudly walked up to the check-in counter for his author badge. "I author," he announced, and he really acted like one at the booksigning. Sometimes that boy can surprise me! Here are some other posts from Doah's book: Casual Attire and Just One of Those Days.

Note: After several rather lugubrious posts, I thought it might be time for some fun. I hope this post will bring some laughter, or at least a smile.